Have you ever felt a little rush of joy after seeing the downfall of
someone you don’t particularly like? This is what psychologists refer to as
“schadenfreude”—the joy we feel at others’ misfortune. We’ve all felt it at
some point or another.
While it’s generally considered a socially undesirable emotion, is it all
that bad? Research shows that our enjoyment of others’ misfortunes can be both beneficial
and detrimental. Here’s how.
The Benefits Of
Schadenfreude
A study published
in the European Review of Social Psychology sought to explain
when and why people feel schadenfreude. Through their research, the authors
found that people feel schadenfreude most intensely when it provides them with
social comparisons that increase their sense of self-worth.
PROMOTED
Additional research appearing
in New Ideas in Psychology further deconstructed the
experience of schadenfreude into three interrelated forms—aggression, rivalry
and justice. The researchers explain that:
1. Rivalry schadenfreude is
borne out of our need to make social comparisons, focused on our own social
status in comparison to the sufferer.
2. Aggression schadenfreude
stems from a sense of social identity; it helps us draw a line between “them”
and “us,” the outgroup we don’t like and our own “superior” ingroup. This way,
the misfortune of the outgroup can feel rewarding.
3. Justice schadenfreude
reminds us that individuals who violate social justice will be punished in some
way and that, in a roundabout way, is our reward for sticking to our
principles.
Sometimes, watching other people fail makes us feel better about
ourselves. For instance, we’ve all secretly enjoyed that tiny ego boost when
our not-so-favorite coworker messes up a project. Psychologists refer to this
as “downward social comparison.” It’s like a shot of self-esteem, reminding you
that you may not be so bad after all, and that others are worse off.
Other times, schadenfreude can feel like a dose of cosmic justice. When a
repeat offender in the bad-behavior department gets their karma, you can’t help
but feel a sense of justice served. It feels like the universe is giving them a
little nudge to shape up. This can help maintain a sense of fairness in our
social world.
From these perspectives, schadenfreude serves as a psychological shield
against feelings of inadequacy, reminding us that we’re not alone in our
imperfections. It helps us navigate our own feelings of self-doubt,
highlighting that others too have their moments of weakness.
The Harms Of
Schadenfreude
As good as it
feels to be a hater in the moment, indulging in your
schadenfreude too much can strain your relationships and drain your empathy
reserves. Relishing in others’ misfortunes can make it hard to connect with
their feelings or offer them a shoulder to cry on. It might even place you on a
lonely island of judgmentalism, slowly morphing you into a pessimistic and
unempathetic Grinch.
One study investigated
the associationes between envy, stereotypes and schadenfreude. Concerningly,
the authors explained that when an outgroup is envied, the ingroup’s
experienced pleasure at the outgroup’s misfortune was associated with a
willingness to harm outgroup members.
Unbridled schadenfreude can put your moral compass in jeopardy, and might
leave you preying on the downfall of others. In serious cases, overindulgence
in schadenfreude could even lead to taking actions to ensure their downfall.
When you take joy in others’ pain without considering the bigger picture, you
might start sliding down a slippery slope of ethical ambiguity. This could lead
to a less compassionate, more judgmental you, or even worse.
How To Moderate
Your Schadenfreude
The secret to taming the emotional beast of schadenfreude is moderation
and self-awareness. While experiencing it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person,
giving in to it too often could be detrimental. In the future, take a moment to
pause and ask yourself why you’re feeling schadenfreude. Is it for the secret
self-esteem boost? For a sense of standing up for justice? Or is it maybe a bad
habit spiraling out of control?
By pausing to understand the root of your emotions, you can gain insight
into your own psyche, fostering emotional intelligence and striving for a more
balanced and empathetic response. Remember, it’s not about eradicating
schadenfreude altogether, but about wielding it as a tool for personal growth.
Conclusion
In a world where kindness and understanding matter, mastering our
emotions, including schadenfreude, is a crucial part of personal growth. So,
the next time you feel that tiny jolt of satisfaction when your frenemy
stumbles, take a moment to reflect. Embrace the goodness of your morality and
sense of self, but be wary of the ugly sides of your secret schadenfreude.
If you’d like to take the Schadenfreude Scale and receive
your results, you can follow this link: The
Schadenfreude Scale
Conquering the
Inner Schadenfreude : Understanding and Overcoming Malicious Joy Through
Mindfulnes
Suzy bliss
What is
Schadenfreude?
The German word “schadenfreude” combines “schaden,” meaning “harm,” and
“freude,” meaning “joy.” So schadenfreude refers to the experience of pleasure
or joy at learning of another person’s pain, misfortune, or suffering.
We’ve all felt twinges of schadenfreude at times — feeling secretly glad
when an arrogant celebrity falls from grace, when a reckless driver gets pulled
over, or when a rival loses their job. Indulging in schadenfreude provides a
fleeting sense of satisfaction at seeing “justice” served or feeling superior
by comparison.
Yet malicious joy in others’ suffering can corrode our own minds and
relationships. How can we overcome this unwholesome tendency that lurks within
most of us? The practice of mindfulness, along with the Buddhist philosophy of
meta-meditation, offers a path.
The Roots of
Schadenfreude
To conquer our inner schadenfreude, we must first understand its roots. A
few key drivers feed this malicious joy:
1. Threat Response
On an instinctive level, we sometimes perceive other people as threats.
When they suffer misfortune, it can trigger a biological threat response —
giving us a rush of relief or pleasure at seeing the “threat” diminished. Of
course, this reaction is exaggerated and unhealthy in most normal social
situations.
2. Inferiority and Envy
The ego or sense of “I” always wants to feel superior. When others around
us seem to be doing better in some way, it can provoke underlying feelings of
inferiority and envy. Their failure or downfall soothes our ego by removing the
uncomfortable comparison. Schadenfreude is the ego’s attempt to restore its
sense of pride.
3. Justice and Indignation
When someone behaves unethically, unfairly, or causes harm to others, a
common reaction is self-righteous anger or indignation. Their subsequent
suffering can provide a sense that “justice” has been served. While
understandable, indulging such vengeful thoughts often brings more toxicity
than healing.
4. Insecurity and Low Self-Worth
Feeling bad about ourselves can make us hyper-focused on others’ flaws and
missteps as a diversion. Noticing others’ mistakes or embarrassments
momentarily distracts us from our own insecurities. But again, this is only
masking the real problem.
As this analysis shows, schadenfreude arises from destructive thought
patterns rooted in judgments, insecurity, and egoic craving. Fortunately, the
practice of meta-meditation can help unwind these mental habits at their core.
Uprooting
Schadenfreude Through Meta-Meditation
Meta-meditation (or mindfulness-of-mind) is the practice of objectively
observing your own mind and thought processes. By creating psychological
distance from our thoughts, meta-meditation allows us to see them as ephemeral
mental events rather than reflections of reality or self.
Two key steps in meta-meditation help dismantle the thought patterns
underlying schadenfreude:
Step 1:
Recognize the arising of malicious thoughts.
Whenever we feel a surge of schadenfreude, meta-meditation instructs us to
pause and note the malicious thought or emotion without suppressing it. For
example, we might notice thoughts like “I’m so glad she got fired after what
she did” or “He totally deserved to have his business fail.” The key is
recognizing these vindictive impulses as transient mental phenomena without
identifying with them. This helps deflate their power over us.
Step 2: Redirect
your mind to positive, compassionate thoughts.
After mindfully observing our schadenfreude and creating some mental space
from it, the next step is to actively shift our mental focus in a more positive
direction. We might reflect on the universal human desire to be happy and free
from suffering. We can contemplate the flawed and changing nature of all
people, letting go of judgments. Or we can cultivate empathy by imagining
ourselves in their situation. Focusing on our shared humanity dissolves the “us
vs. them” mentality from which schadenfreude springs.
With regular practice of meta-meditation, we can rewire our minds to
short-circuit schadenfreude before it arises. Whenever we catch ourselves
taking pleasure in others’ pain, we note the malicious thought, create distance
from it, and purposefully redirect our minds towards compassion. Over time,
this Conditions our minds to see people’s struggles with understanding rather
than sadistic glee.
The Benefits of
Overcoming Schadenfreude
Ridding ourselves of schadenfreude, through meta-meditation or other means,
yields many advantages:
- Healthier relationships — Letting go of envy, spite, and bitterness
improves our connections with others. We can appreciate people’s strengths
without feeling threatened.
- Reduced anger and anxiety — Malicious joy provokes fear and hostility
towards others we perceive as rivals. Releasing these feelings brings calmness.
- Improved self-esteem — The less we fixate on others’ flaws as a boost
for our ego, the more we can grow in genuine self-confidence and
self-acceptance.
- Greater life satisfaction — Comparing ourselves positively against those
who are struggling breeds discontent. Finding joy independent of others’
misfortune brings lasting contentment.
- Increased compassion — When we stop taking pleasure in people’s pain, empathy
naturally grows. We all wish to live with compassion; overcoming schadenfreude
removes a major obstacle.
As we can see, reducing schadenfreude through meta-meditation cultivates
many key elements of a flourishing life: strong relationships, security,
self-worth, satisfaction, and compassion. With mindful effort, we can keep this
deeply rooted human tendency in check.
Practical Tips
to Overcome Schadenfreude
In addition to formal meta-meditation practice, there are several
practical methods we can apply in daily life to catch and defuse schadenfreude
when it arises:
1. Notice physical cues
Instead of getting lost in malicious thoughts, shift attention to how
schadenfreude feels physically. Tune into any sensations of tightness,
agitation, clenching, or excited energy. Noticing the physical manifestations
helps create distance from the thoughts fueling them.
2. Recall shared humanity
When inclined to feel scornful or gleeful at another’s misstep, bring to
mind the ways you share common ground. Contemplate how you’ve made similar
mistakes or experienced similar disappointments. Reflecting on our basic human
similarities makes it harder to harbor ill will.
3. Consider causes and conditions
Rather than seeing others’ troubles as somehow deserved, contemplate the
complex web of conditions underlying them. Reflect on how, like all of us,
they’re shaped by genetics, upbringing, traumas, cultural influences, and other
factors outside their control. This instills compassion.
4. Sympathize and forgive
Imagine how you would think and feel if you were in their situation.
Recognize that all beings wish to find happiness just like you. Make a
heartfelt wish that the suffering person finds relief soon. Send them
compassion.
5. Wish them well
Silently offer loving-kindness to those we’re tempted to resent. For
example: “Just like me, this person wants to be free from pain. May they
experience safety, health, peace, and joy.” Wishing others genuine wellbeing is
the ultimate antidote to schadenfreude.
Over time, diligently applying these methods trains us to respond to
others’ misfortunes with empathy rather than petty delight or scorn. We still
feel human irritation or disappointment at times. But instead of festering into
schadenfreude, we catch these reactions early and cultivate compassion for
ourselves and others. Shared joy eclipses misplaced pleasures in harm.
Conclusion
Though schadenfreude is deeply rooted in human psychology, we are not
helplessly in its grasp. With mindful meta-meditation practice, we can
intercept malicious thoughts and consciously nurture empathy instead. We can
break the destructive mental patterns that feed off others’ misfortunes. As
schadenfreude diminishes, our relationships, inner security, and overall
quality of life blossom beautifully. This journey requires dedication but
offers profound rewards. Freeing ourselves from schadenfreude creates ripples
of compassion that spread joy to all.
Discover more of my published works on topics like Stoicism, parenting,
relationship, self-improvement and mindfulness by visiting my Amazon author
page at
Please check out the meditation and EFT videos on our blog and useful
resources on our YouTube channel at the following links:
https://selfhelpchampion.com/tagged/meditation
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